Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What are some great short jokes?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Do you think the number of sissies is on the rise?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

What exactly is the difference between a surge protector and a fuse? Can a fuse protect the electronic devices from lightning instead of surge protector?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Have husbands and wives ever had a threesome with someone in real life? How did it happen?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do people keep denying the similarities between Latin and Italian by saying they are totally different languages when it’s obvious they sound similar?

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?